Wedding Speech Dos and Don'ts: The Guide Your Best Man Needs
Wedding Speech Dos and Don'ts: The Guide Your Best Man Needs to Read
Public speaking ranks somewhere between snakes and skydiving on most people's list of fears. And now you've been asked to give a speech at your best friend's wedding. The pressure to be polite, funny, charming, and emotional all at once is enough to send anyone straight to the bar.
This is a practical guide to writing a wedding speech that doesn't go off the rails — and delivering it with enough confidence to make the couple genuinely glad they asked you.
The Dos
Prepare in Advance
A well-delivered speech isn't something you improvise. Giving a wedding speech is an honour. Take time to reflect on your relationship with the couple, jot down your thoughts, practice in front of a mirror, and run through it a few times before the day. The best speeches sound effortless because they were rehearsed.
Congratulate the Couple
It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how often people forget to actually say it. A simple "Let's all raise a glass to the happy couple" is a great way to wrap up and bring everyone together in a toast. End on them, not on you.
Keep It Short and Sweet
There's a fine line between memorable and testing people's patience. Keep your speech between four and five minutes. It's long enough to make an impact, short enough to leave people wanting more. If you're still going at seven minutes, you've lost the room.
Mention Both People
Even if you're closer to one half of the couple, acknowledge them both. This is their day together. Recognising how happy they make each other is a classy move that costs you nothing and means everything to the person you're less close to.
Tell a Story
People love a good story. A speech that follows a simple beginning, middle, and end structure keeps guests engaged far longer than a list of compliments. Think of one standout memory — one moment that captures who the person is — and build the whole speech around it.
The Don'ts
Mention Their Ex
This is a one-way ticket to awkwardness. The couple has just declared their love in front of everyone they care about. The last thing anyone wants to hear is a joke or anecdote about a past relationship. If your speech contains any reference to an ex — delete it. Now.
Tell Inside Jokes
Your private jokes might be hilarious to you and a handful of people in the room. If the other 70 guests are left staring blankly, it's a flop. Share stories that are relatable — not ones that require three years of shared history to understand.
Get Drunk Before You Speak
One drink for courage — fine. Five drinks because you're nervous — absolutely not. We've seen enough slurred, rambling, teary speeches to know that alcohol doesn't help. Save the heavy drinking for the dance floor, after you've sat back down.
Make It About You
Nobody came to hear a long story about the speaker. You can share personal anecdotes — but make sure they illuminate the couple, not just your own adventures. Every time you say "I," ask yourself whether it's serving them or serving you.
Be Crude, Lewd, or Rude
This isn't a comedy roast. Avoid swearing, crude jokes, and embarrassing stories that make the couple or their families uncomfortable. The test: if the bride's grandmother would wince, cut it.
Your wedding day should feel effortless from the first speech to the last dance.
Bespoke wedding planning in Bali since 2009. We handle the details — you enjoy the moment.
The Open Mic Warning
This one's for the couple. Unless you actively enjoy uncertainty, do not open the microphone to anyone who wants to speak.
What starts as Aunty Bette's quick words of love can spiral into half the wedding party wanting their moment — dragging on far longer than anyone planned, in directions no one anticipated. We've seen it derail the entire energy of a reception.
The rule: Keep speeches to pre-planned, pre-approved speakers only. Your MC's job is to protect the timeline — and that includes from well-meaning guests who "just want to say a few words." A smooth, controlled speech order is always better than a democratic free-for-all.